Peter reviewed the book When Helping Hurts earlier this year and you can find his worthwhile review at the link above. We read the book together and I find the concepts are applicable this time of year (think soup kitchens and other charity ministries).
I also find that the concepts illuminate a lot of trouble and mistakes I've made in the past and continue to make in personal relationships. Peter says in his review, "They [the authors] encourage Christians to never do for someone else what they can do for themselves." This is, admittedly, a tricky balance to find when we want to obey the scriptural directive to give generously. I continue to find ways that my giving isn't about giving what is truly helpful to someone else. It is actually about making myself look wise (giving random advice on the internet or elsewhere?), keeping my kids dependent on me, "fixing" someone else so that I'm not embarrassed by them or other terrible motives. Yesterday Peter said to me that he thought women, in general, were prone to wanting to be helpful. That's a nice way to say it. I think he's right, but that doesn't mean we do what is actually helpful, more like what we think is helpful. I know he gives me the benefit of the doubt a lot on this kind of thing. He's generous like that. :-)
No comments:
Post a Comment